My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
