Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
