Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize