stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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