I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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