I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
whose parrot is this?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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