just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
