i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
