better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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