This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
