you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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