I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
