I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
