i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
