Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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