I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize