return my video game
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
