What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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