Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize