Swine flu. Run for my life!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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