so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
