We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
