its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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