what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
