I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
