We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
