i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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