How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
