After last night, I could never be a politician.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
