i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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