I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
