I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
