summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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