We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize