He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
