i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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