I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize