Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
