Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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