i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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