He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
