I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
