Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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