No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
