someone get that fucking seahorse.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
