well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
