somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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