Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
