she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
