It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
