soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
