you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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