Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
