My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
