I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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