ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
