I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
