I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
