insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize