talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
