He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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