Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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