Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
