she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They have beer where we have blood.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
