that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize