Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
