wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
