Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
