Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
