She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
